Our desire to become parents

Kurt and I had been married for 5 years before we decided to have children. I was in college and we felt it would be best to wait.....patience is not my strongest virtue! A few months before I graduated, we finally felt like it was time and I couldn't be happier that we were starting our family. Months went by without any success....then years went by and still no pregnancy. I was devastated. Kurt handled infertility much better than I did. For the first year of trying to conceive we had no answers as to why I couldn't get pregnant. We tried infertility drugs.....no luck! Then in April 2009 I went to the ER with severe stomach cramping. They diagnosed me with appendicitis. As the surgeon came to talk to me he thought that the pain I was having wasn't common with appendicitis but thought it would be best to go into surgery to "explore" other ailments and would also be taking my appendix out. As he opened me up he realized that I had endometriosis (scar tissue) everywhere. The reason my appendix was aggravated is because the endometriosis had spread and attached to my appendix, causing pain. I was sad and relieved at the same time. Finally we had an answer to our infertility issues and we could finally try other avenues to achieve pregnancy. Three months later in June, I had a Laprascopic surgery to clean out and remove all the endometriosis scar tissue. Following this surgery, we tried artifical insemenation 3 times. Each month came and went with the feeling of failure. I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault. My body was the reason that I couldn't give Kurt and myself the children we had always dreamed of. In August 2010, I was at my OB/GYN office to explore options....when she found a 3 cm (about 8 inches) cyst on my right ovary. She said we were lucky to catch this, otherwise the cyst would have probably burst and I would have most likely lost my ovary in a very painful (physically and emotionally) manner. We had one more medication that we wanted to try. It didn't work! Each time we tried something new, I had a new sense of hope after each attempt. I was beginning to lose any hope at this point. Kurt did his best to keep me positive and try to understand that we will have our children when the time is right. It was hard to watch other people have children and it was hard to listen to the comments that people said to us. They were very hurtful at times. After about a year of trying to decide what we should do (Kurt wanted to adopt and I wanted to try In Vitro, a very expensive and extensive infertility treatment) I had a special experience. I was sitting on my couch and was overwhelmed with a very peaceful and comforting feeling that we needed to adopt. I just sat there and cried. Finally an answer to my prayers! That same month we called LDS Family Services to find out what we needed to do and started the process. Ever since that day I have never turned back and each time I think about our adoption journey I am comforted with a very peaceful feeling. I am excited to continue on our journey to complete our family!